Other People's Memoirs



My sons and myself

 For years I have been fascinated by autobiography, biography and memoir. I've contemplated writing in each format, and my life has certainly been filled with suitable characters and incidents, but my writing skill..? Other people's lives emerge from the pages like a Hollywood movie capturing me with the sights, sounds and smells of each event in every word. When I put pen to paper the words lie flat and trite on the page, like an out of focus black and white print from my youth.

My life has certainly not been boring! I have been blessed and cursed with my fair share of challenges, adventures, and moments of pure joy. I have witnessed a lot of history - world and personal. I have experienced the results of my folly and gained more than a snippet of common sense and wisdom over the years. The problem is that I don't seem to have the confidence to put it in writing even for my own amazement.

At present I am reading Robert Leleux's family memoir "The Living End" it is torturous and funny, reminiscent in places of my own journey and so far from anything I could imagine in other parts. I haven't tried to critique it because it might spoil the experience - I only know it has captured my heart. I would love the opportunity to spend an afternoon with the author. I don't often feel that way!

I began reading the book because I spend a good part of each day with elders and their families who are making their way through the maze of dementia and Alzheimer's. Each day brings a degree of apprehension because the one they love is disappearing and a new person is developing. We tend to see this in negative terms, as loss and not gain, but Robert Leleux offers a fresh perspective, realistic but hopeful. He allows for the fact that what is happening to his beloved grandmother is not necessarily as bleak as we often make it, but that for her at least, there is an unexpected freedom of spirit.

I am grateful for writers who allow me a peak at a different reality because they are willing to be vulnerable and write what they know and feel with honesty and integrity.

Lent - I'm back blogging

When I decided to begin blogging again I couldn't believe that my last Blog was in 2010. Where did the last year go?

I have no reason to believe that anyone who read my blog in the past will be mildly interested in anything I have to say at this point! I will however follow my desire to write again. If anyone reads and responds I will be delighted, if not I will at least have begun the process.

What kept me from this page was life - and death! 2011 presented a great many challenges with a busy work schedule and a busy life. Working with those who are dying and their families enriched my life but ate up my free time. While serving as chaplain in my own facility I began working with Hospice while they sought a new chaplain. It didn't seem I would be adding much to my schedule, and in some ways I didn't, but I did find my focus was directed in ways other than my own personal pursuits. Life now has settled into a slightly more balanced cycle and thus I hope to spend some time on personal reflection and comment.

The photo above is from the trip we had to Gethsemani Abbey, Kentucky in 2010 it seemed a suitable image with which to begin my Lenten journey. As J. Philip Newell says "From God we came to God we shall return" words I find comforting since my personal journey through life has zig-zagged along many a varied path. Some of those paths I am sure were not sanctioned by God, but that in God's mercy I survived and my feet returned sometimes hesitantly and sometimes thankfully to the path. In a way returning to the blank page feels much like placing my feet back on the path, what lies before me is unknown and I will relish what opens up before me.

So far the first steps on the path of Lent this year have been a failure in terms of the lofty plans and disciplines I had designed for myself. Humbling but exhilarating I am aware that forgiving myself and getting back on a simpler path is all I need for the moment. In the past I would have beaten up on myself and focused on the ways in which I sabotaged my life, at this point I can say "O Wise One - so what did you learn?" This week I will be more gentle with myself and I guess that given past experience the journey will be be more fruitful.

The following Haiku is about a stone I picked up on one of my walks. It sits amidst my collection of stones. I choose this as another symbol for my journey.

                  A promise hidden

                  Journey stone, humbly received

                  White, smooth, gently held.

May I receive my Lenten Path as gift.