CHANGE

Change is all around us and for the most part I think it is good. Some days change frustrates me, and yesterday was such a day. I had a few spare minutes and thought I would come and blog, I am trying to be more consistent. When I came to my page I was informed that I need to choose Goggle Chrome as my web browser, very annoying. It took time for it to load, and I had others things to do and never did get to post. 


I don't object to change when it really improve things, and maybe this will I haven't had time to check it out yet. I find, however too often these days, the reason for change is simply to change. To keep people checking for something new, or to force people to use programs, and items they wouldn't otherwise use. So when I have time I look forward to discovering how the "new look" improves and aids me in my blogging.


I have been trying without success, to be more consistent in my blogging. I have a lot of ideas I would like to share with my readers, and I would like to expand my readers so that I can have some interaction with them on some of my reflections. It seems as if the "reason for change" might be one of them.


I work every day with the elderly and their families and I realize the many questions and decisions that need to be made by all of us as we progress toward that stage of life. From the best way to invest money for retirement, choose a retirement community, and how to accept the decisions our elderly parents make for their life, health and death issues. Then there is the matter of downsizing, reducing clutter, and living simply that others might simply live.


I have my own issues as I move into the "wise woman" category. What does it mean to embrace this new stage in life, what emphasis do I place on the outer and the inner manifestations of this stage?


If that is not sufficient, I continue my research and am trying to gather into a whole my work on people, communities and institutions that reinvent themselves. As you can tell my mind doesn't slow down much, and add to that my work and family time and like everyone else on this planet twenty four hours whirls by! 


I didn't mean to gripe in this blog but I seems to have done so, and so I apologize, but my mind is a little clearer now that it is out there. Amazing how a simple change can send a person into orbit. So much for my daily "mindfulness" approach to life - peace of mind, and living in the moment are hard to maintain. Shalom friends, thanks for listening.  

Repetition

I don"t know what really got me thinking about repetition, but I found scribbled notes on a brown paper bag related to the topic in the center of my desk. Obviously sometime in the last week or so, when I have been very busy, repetition played on my mind. The notes were covered with a stack of papers, and were obviously so important at the moment that I placed them "front and center." Today I look at them and wonder!

I don't like repetition, I am not an orderly soul, and yet I realize that there are many daily tasks that are required and necessary, and are definitely repetitious. Actually, now I remember, I was cleaning the kitchen after supper and sputtering about the fact that so much of what happened every day was repeated over and over again.

Whether we like it or not, repetition is an important part of daily life. It is a skill to be mastered gracefully. Make the bed. Brush your teeth. Do the dishes. Dust the furniture. Pick up books, papers, shoes.....the list goes on. I remember my son Stephen struggling with the nature of repetition as a second grader. School for him was painful, it required the same daily rituals. One night after a particularly frustrating day he said "Mom why do we have to write our numbers over and over? " My answer, now I realize not very satisfactory,  was something to the effect: "Your teacher wants to make sure you know them." "But Mom, when I have done them right for four pages, doesnt she know that?" Had I been wise enough maybe I could have shared with him the fact that indeed life is filled with repetition. Maybe those early exercises actually have little to do with learning shapes, or math or spelling - maybe they have more to do with preparation for the rest of our life.

I have been fortunate that in my profession as pastor and chaplain there is a great deal of variety in the content of my daily work, even though the overall schedule may look repetitious. No two people every present exactly the same spiritual journey. The scriptures for worship and preaching, while coming from a three year lectionary may seem to contain repetition, in reality they always spring fresh from the page. As I pray the Daily Office, again it may look very similar day to day, month to month or year to year, but what I bring to it, and what I experience in reflection and silence is always different.   

In recent years I have been working on "mindfulness" and that has taught me to realize that even the simple repetitive tasks of daily living, if done mindfully always reveal something new, about myself or the task. For example when I bring all of myself to the slicing of carrots for supper, I notice the richness of the deep orange color, the circles in each slice, the texture and smell. This can connect me with the farmer who grew them, the rain and the sun that swelled the seed and caused it's growth, the amazing fact that the universe supplies us with such an abundance of different foods to choose from. These thoughts can make me aware of  the need for protection of diversity into our world, and the need to live in ways that foster sustainability. All of this from slicing a carrot!

There are times when I find comfort in a repetitive tasks.  Whether I see their benefit or not they remain  a part of the life cycle. As we watch the season change from summer to fall, and move soon to winter, we witness the repetition from life to death to life. It is in the fallow times, when repetition seems arduous that the unseen seeds are germinating, sprouting,  waiting for the right moment to spring to life. May I learn to be patient with my imagination and my soul. May I be willing to stick with a routine whether I see its purpose or not, so that in time I might harvest the fruits that will surely grow.

Catching up 2!

Catching up? I think I need to look at things differently, catching up seems impossible. I think that I should accept the fact that what I do is what I do. Living in the present, mindfully,  is valuable and I think it might be time for me to adopt this practice.

Over the years I have sought to attain "mindfulness",  to focus my attention on what is happening right now. For example as I Blog instead of letting my mind blast off in a thousand directions like a large Roman Candle on the 4th of July, I need to focus on my writing. Feel the keys under my fingers, how they fit gently into the slight hollow the engineer designed to make using the keyboard a more pleasant experience. How with each letter there is indeed, as my husband claims, a click clack of noise. How a moment too long pressing on the keys produces more letters to the word than belong there. How a brief distraction can change the thought being transferred to the page and take the piece in a totally different direction. I need to shape and form the words and sentences into a well crafted piece of writing. Instead.......?

How hard it is to focus. Mindfulness is a practice, and as such it calls for dedicated attention. I have long attributed to myself the name "Butterfly" brain, in any minute I can probably flit through 20 to 50 thoughts. Centering Prayer has helped enrich my meditation time. I have learned over the years not to "catch" the thoughts but let them go, but at other times I tend to follow the the thoughts wherever they lead, even when they lead me far from my orginal path. At one level I appreciate this because it gives me lots of creative ideas, at another level it is very frustrating because it sometimes makes completing a project a much longer process than I anticipated.

If you came to this Blog anticipating that "Catching up 2!" would have filled you in on what has happened in my life recently I apologize, but I thank you for allowing me to explore where I am in the process. I read somewhere a number of years ago that Blogging helped you to find your "voice". For me Blogging is sometimes, like today, an opportunity to discover that nothing of consequence is filling my thoughts today.

Welcome 2010

It is hard to believe that this is January 1, 2010. I had so many plans about how to finish out the old year, be prepared for the New Year, and be ready to start bright and early on 1-1-2010! It of course makes no difference the past year was a good and full one and I give thanks for all the blessings that made it so. I look forward to the unfolding of the year ahead and will take it as it comes.

I do have some hopes for this year - most important for me is to improve my ability to live "mindfully", if I do that,  then I feel all else will go as it should. Shalom.