Caught

It's been awhile since I found time to blog. My resolve to record some of my thoughts on my journey to 70 (October 2010) gets railroaded quite often. I have been doing some daily journal writing, weather, diet, "busy notes" but nothing substantial.

Memoir has been on my mind and I have been reading Natalie Goldberg, Peter Gilmour and William Zinsser, they have been helpful in providing focus. I am becoming clearer about what is needed to begin to answer the questions my son posed for me. I don't think I realized however, that I would be delving so deeply into relationship. I think I viewed the task more as recording stories from the past and vignettes of relatives. I now see that answering the question "Why did you leave home?" demands revelation of me and my relationship with my mother - do I want to go there? Caught! Caught in a story that spans my life and one I have not been willing to explore. Is this the year? Certainly it is no easy assignment.

Time to change the subject; January was a beautiful month, if harsh. The Wolf Moon and three days of amazing hoar-frost clothed the landscape exquisitely. I penned a couple more Haikus, and am really interested in finding time to learn more about this form.

Time seems to be the issue at the core of my life…I must make it my friend!

Wolf Moon
Wolf moon setting
In morning’s wakening sky
Makes way for sunlight

Hoar-Frost

Bent barren branches
radiant with hoar frost thorns
beneath leaden skies

Times Past

A week ago I attended the Wake and Funeral of a wise and humble woman, a Sinsinawa Dominican Sister. Her life was a blessing and example for many. As her friends shared their memories, a similar story emerged. Over the years, at critical times, a manila envelope would arrive by mail from her. The contents in each envelope were similar, but geared to the specific needs of the recipient. Always the envelope contained a beautifully penned personal letter, with words that spoke directly to the heart and needs of the person, a devotional booklet, and several wisdom quotes. Each of us commented that we kept all correspondence and that it continues to nourish us.

It caused me to ponder the value of letter writing. Today most of my communication is through email messages. Brief telephone calls, but usually only to confirm things previously discussed. I learn most about my friends and family from their Face book pages or Blogs. On rare occasions I enjoy their company over a leisurely lunch, but these are hard to fit in the schedule. Letter writing, almost never!

My husband keeps in his file, maybe as a reminder of bygone days, a letter written from his great grandparents in NJ to his grandparents in MO. It was 1858 and the address read: “St. Louis below Alton on the other side of the great river.” Both the contents of the letter and the mailing address cause us to reflect on the length to which family and friends went to stay in touch with one another.

In her book Refuge, Terry Tempest Williams writes, “Our correspondences show us where our intimacies lie. There is something very sensual about a letter. The physical contact of pen to paper, the time set aside to focus thoughts, the folding of the paper into the envelope, licking it closed, addressing it, a chosen stamp, and then the release of the letter to the mailbox – are all acts of tenderness. And it doesn’t stop there. Our correspondences have wings – paper birds that fly from our house to yours – flocks of ideas criss-crossing the country. Once opened, a connection is made. We are not alone in the world.”

As we look back in history and literature we see how much of a person’s life and relationship has been shared with us through letters sent to and received from lovers, friends, family and colleagues, much that would have otherwise been lost. Centuries of persons encouraged by the gentle or challenging words of a mentor. Will our emails, web pages and blogs offer such tender or penetrating insights?

It has been years since I shared correspondence of any significance with anyone. I manage an occasional card, a once a year duplicated Christmas letter (although last year I didn’t even manage that), and at times a brief note of thanks, encouragement or condolence. I enjoy the communication I have via technology it fits my lifestyle, but I wonder what I might be missing from a written page that can be read over and over, folded neatly, tucked away and cherished.

This topic I think requires more reflection