Stuck

I am feeling good today! On the note pad on my computer I post all the tasks I need to get done, it is satisfying to be able to delete each one as it is accomplished. This morning I completed my last task,  a "Living Portrait" it had been mocking me daily, for months. I accomplished more things because of its presence. It wasn't that I didn't want to finish it! It was pure and simply the fact that I was "stuck". Now it is done, a clean screen and I wait to discover what new projects will come to me in the weeks ahead. Have you ever noticed how many distractions come to you when you are "stuck"?  

This is Christmas week and in a way I am still  "stuck". I am stuck at the beginning of Advent, those days of waiting that prepare us for the great celebration of Jesus' birth. Somehow the journey never really got underway this year. I have three days left to Christmas Eve and a month's worth of preparation untouched. I am not talking about external things, but things of the spirit...my heart, mind and soul are not yet ready. The one thing I do know is that whether I am ready or not the day will come, and by some mystery the Child Jesus will transform my life, if just for a moment with wonder.

All Around Wonder!

“How full of the creative genius is the air on which these are generated!
I should hardly admire them more if real stars fell and lodged on my coat.” – Henry David Thoreau, Journal, 1856


I came out of the big snow with the same awe that enthralls me every time the air is filled with, and the ground covered by snowflakes. That every single flake is unique, perfectly symmetrical, and fragile, is a source of wonder to me. Like life and death I know I stand before a great mystery, and in its presence I am enlarged.


I ventured this week into capturing the image of ice crystals (I don’t have the equipment nor the patience to capture snowflakes) looking through my magnifying glass a new world unfolded. I tentatively prepared my camera and held it against the window, clicked and clicked and then headed to my computer to see what I had captured. For me it was a moment of awe – like Thoreau I couldn’t be more thrilled if I had captured a star!


Reflecting on the snow and the year's cycle the following words came to mind – hardly poetry but I share them as today’s meditation.


In winter,
falling snow’s
shimmering radiance illuminates
darkening days.

In spring,
green shoots
through dark earth grasps
a new year of light.


In summer,
diamond beads
dew like on slender threads
a new morning greets


In fall,
last leaves
blown free by winter’s breath
cold earth accepts.


In winter,
ice crystals
on cold surface dance
awaiting spring…..

Times Past

A week ago I attended the Wake and Funeral of a wise and humble woman, a Sinsinawa Dominican Sister. Her life was a blessing and example for many. As her friends shared their memories, a similar story emerged. Over the years, at critical times, a manila envelope would arrive by mail from her. The contents in each envelope were similar, but geared to the specific needs of the recipient. Always the envelope contained a beautifully penned personal letter, with words that spoke directly to the heart and needs of the person, a devotional booklet, and several wisdom quotes. Each of us commented that we kept all correspondence and that it continues to nourish us.

It caused me to ponder the value of letter writing. Today most of my communication is through email messages. Brief telephone calls, but usually only to confirm things previously discussed. I learn most about my friends and family from their Face book pages or Blogs. On rare occasions I enjoy their company over a leisurely lunch, but these are hard to fit in the schedule. Letter writing, almost never!

My husband keeps in his file, maybe as a reminder of bygone days, a letter written from his great grandparents in NJ to his grandparents in MO. It was 1858 and the address read: “St. Louis below Alton on the other side of the great river.” Both the contents of the letter and the mailing address cause us to reflect on the length to which family and friends went to stay in touch with one another.

In her book Refuge, Terry Tempest Williams writes, “Our correspondences show us where our intimacies lie. There is something very sensual about a letter. The physical contact of pen to paper, the time set aside to focus thoughts, the folding of the paper into the envelope, licking it closed, addressing it, a chosen stamp, and then the release of the letter to the mailbox – are all acts of tenderness. And it doesn’t stop there. Our correspondences have wings – paper birds that fly from our house to yours – flocks of ideas criss-crossing the country. Once opened, a connection is made. We are not alone in the world.”

As we look back in history and literature we see how much of a person’s life and relationship has been shared with us through letters sent to and received from lovers, friends, family and colleagues, much that would have otherwise been lost. Centuries of persons encouraged by the gentle or challenging words of a mentor. Will our emails, web pages and blogs offer such tender or penetrating insights?

It has been years since I shared correspondence of any significance with anyone. I manage an occasional card, a once a year duplicated Christmas letter (although last year I didn’t even manage that), and at times a brief note of thanks, encouragement or condolence. I enjoy the communication I have via technology it fits my lifestyle, but I wonder what I might be missing from a written page that can be read over and over, folded neatly, tucked away and cherished.

This topic I think requires more reflection

Reflections

On October 5, 2009 on our way home from Vermont we stopped in Hyde Park, NY. We had several reasons for stopping, but I had one personal desire and that was to visit the grave of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. This desire stemmed from my increasing awareness that he was one of the first "saints" who awakened me to the nature of the universe, the sacredness of all creation and the profound need to integrate this knowledge into daily living. As the years unfolded others left their imprint, Aldo Leopold, Loren Eisley, Rachel Carson, Thomas Berry, to name only a few.

From age 25 to 62 I was pretty much unconscious. I was busy with family, career and keeping my head above water. I had fortunately integrated much of their teaching into my life but I am ashamed to say without honoring my mentors or I fear even acknowledging their influence. I think sometimes I might even have considered my concern for the environment, healthy eating, support of local food production, recycling, you name it, to have been from my own brilliance. When I felt like a lonely voice railing against consumerism I failed to connect my concern with the fruits of wisdom I had acquired in my reading years.

This All Saints, All Souls I want to honor those who formed me (and many others) by their scholarship, passion and tireless work to protect and preserve our universe. They have left us with knowledge, insight and vision to guide our future. They have guided and inspired those who will continue to challenge us.

As I stood in the twilight beside the grave of Teilhard de Chardin I was blessed by the beauty that surrounded me. Tucked away on the grounds of the CIA the cemetery is nestled in a peaceful wooded setting overlooking the Hudson River. I felt a profound sense of communion not only with the spirit of Chardin, but with others who had visited and left small tokens of grateful respect. One made a deep connection with me, and it is fitting that I close with this image on this day - the chambered nautilus. The spiral of life.

Simeon the New Theologian wrote: "The saints in each generation are joined to those who have gone before, and are filled like them with light to become a golden chain in which each saint is a separate link, united to the next by faith, works and love."

I remember also on this day Thomas Berry who died this year, may his "Great Work" continue.

A few lines from "Autumn Evening Psalm" printed in the Fall Forest letter of Shantivanam http://www.shantivanam.com/

Wrapping this day with prayer,

may I rest in peace with you,

a dress rehearsal for the deepest sleep of peace,

eternal rest.

AUTUMN

My window frames the leaves

Orange, red and gold

Swirling from the trees

They embrace death with beauty

- 2009

It has been so long since I blogged I can't believe it. We had a wonderful trip East visiting family and sights along the way. The fall colors were beautiful, in fact seemed much brighter and more varied than I ever remembered. I have never been a fan of fall color but age must be changing me because I have thoroughly enjoyed the subtle changes day by day.

The photo is from my balcony, the very spot that inspired the title of my blog. I spend as much time as possible observing and absorbing this view, it is a constant reminder of the fragility and complexities of our planet and the need to protect and nourish everything in our daily life.

Thursday I celebrated my 69th birthday, and am now officially beginning the Blog for my seventieth year. It seems important to me that I take stock of my life as I prepare to enter the next decade. I am choosing the discipline of reflection and contemplation during this year in hopes that I will live into the wisdom of my years. Too quickly they pass without mining all that is there of truth and blessing.

Fall can be a melancholy time, in fact it has never been my favorite season, but this year it has been rich and fruitful. Change is all around and I am trying to embrace it.

On the Road

The trip is going well, I could post last since the motel I was in did not have a good Internet connection. Tonight we are in Liverpool, NY. We have enjoyed taking the trip at a leisurely pace, I had forgotten that the highways heading East had speed limits of 55 or 65 miles an hour, not that everyone stays within those limits.

The weather has been kind, gray with cloud cover, and bursts of golden sunshine. Going East on 90, means traveling miles and miles within a tree lined canyon divided by a grassy median....arched every 10-20 miles by bridges.

I have had a few wildlife sitings, but not as many as I might have hoped for. A Peregrine Falcon eyeing it's breakfast, not in view long enough to know if it was successful. A flock of wild turkeys enjoying an early lunch on an embankment beside I-90 as we entered Ashtabula county, and a red tail hawk flew low over the highway in front of us. In contrast to these meager sitings we have seen at least one car from 44 States and Alberta, Ontario and New Brunswick. We are a people on the move. At 4:25 EST we had logged 1000 miles. Tomorrow we will be in Vermont, and plan to spend some time at Weston Priory, a place I have adopted as a spiritual home since 1969.

Travel Panic

I have just about made through today without panic. Most of the stuff is now packed and just the final details to attend to. Water plants and leave them in a convenient spot for the friend who is going to water them. Finish up a couple of things for work, and get ready to do the morning service at SV. After the morning service we will finish packing the car and start out for our trip East. We are going to take it at a gentle pace, stopping along the way to see and do whatever we want.

On this vacation I hope to have time to explore some things that are bouncing in my head. When we get East we will visit our children and grandchildren and catch up in many ways. I can't wait to see them, they have changed a lot since our last visit four years ago. Along with the visit to family I have to admit I hope desperately to get my ocean fix. It is the hardest thing to live in the midwest and have very little "water". Yes there are rivers and small lakes but nothing that comes close to the power of the ocean, not even a waterfall!

Well I guess I have put off getting supper and adding the finishing touches to packing long enough. The next post will be on the road.