Procrastination

Today I finally took needle and thread and sewed on two buttons that have begged to be returned to their rightful spot for almost a year.  They mocked me as they revealed once again that "procrastination" is a flaw in my tightly knit life that I am not only accustomed to, but with which I seem to be very comfortable. In a strange way I thrive on this trait energized by deadlines and near misses.  On the other hand I love to pursue silence and seek to live in the "moment". Mystery......

I have been invited by my son to take a closer look at my life's journey, explore the mystery, separate the threads, and share my story. It will take time, but as an introduction I bumped up against an image that has been with me for about fifty years. I do not remember the circumstances under which I was first introduced to the "white stone" of Revelation, but it immediately captured my imagination and continues to do so.  Mystery.........  

Inspired by - Revelation 2:17

On the white stone is written a new name that no one knows except the one who receives it.

White stone secret

White stone rests in hand

Smooth, tumbled, lined, water’s gift

A secret revealed

Journey stone

A promise hidden

Journey stone humbly received

White, smooth, gently held

UNRAVEL

Unravel, according to Webster's dictionary means to: "separate threads, or solve a mystery",both apt descriptions for today's blog.

Early in the New Year my son invited me to share with him (and in turn my grandchildren) what I thought I had inherited from my parents. This is a challenging, complicated and curious question. I have probably spent most of my life, in one way or another trying not to be my parents. A casual glance at my life would illustrate more differences than similarities, a deeper look...we shall see!


A couple of years ago I knit my husband a sweater. It was one of those projects that began simply and developed a life of its own. My husband chose the yarn, a deep teal (the photo doesn't reflect its true color) 100% mercerized cotton made in Greece, he had a vision for the kind of sweater he wanted and I searched for a pattern. The first pattern I tried didn't do the yarn justice, the second created a "hand" like iron; the third using half-linen stitch seemed perfect. At one point in the knitting, it lay by the side of my chair approximately half finished when in answering the phone I dumped onto it a full bowl of mushroom soup. The washing and drying was not satisfactory, I "unraveled" and began again! In time I finished the sweater and my husband tried it on, he decided the neckline wasn't comfortable, I "unraveled" and refashioned it. At times when I left the knitting for a period, because work took precedence, I came back and found errors and redoes were required. From the beginning I was not happy with the sweater, but my husband loved it and wore it with affection. Every time he put it on I could see all the places I stopped and started, small flaws became magnified until a few days ago I decided to unravel the sweater and start again.

As I began to unravel the sweater I discovered new problems. The sweater was very well constructed and with knitted seams connecting front to back, and along the sleeve seams, it is proving to be a challenge. On reflection this unraveling project dovetails with the questions my son raised in relation to what I inherited from my parents. It has become a metaphor for the task ahead of me. Over the years I have knit a life for myself, I have worn it like my husband wore his sweater,  with love and affection. Aware of its imperfection and flaws I have at times made corrections, removed the spills, and stitched it tightly together. Now I have been invited to look at it more closely and I see that in order to answer my son's questions I must "unravel" ; separate the threads solve the mystery...it will take time.

Human beings together

It is extremely hard for me to believe that January 16 is here already. My last post was January 1...had I made a New Resolutions, which blissfully I didn't, it would have been to blog daily! So much has happened already, wonderful visits by phone and internet with friends and family, wishing health and happiness in 2010. Slogging through the cold and snow, and enjoying the most brilliant blue skys and sunshine. Death and birth, laughter and tears all within the span of a few days time.

Reading a reflection this morning by Fr. Ed Hay he included this verse from the Persian Muslim poet-mystic Saadi Shirazi:


Human beings are all members of one body.
They are created by the same essence.
When one is in pain, the others cannot rest.
If you do not care about the pain of others,
You do not deserve to be called a human being.

As my husband and I celebrated a belated anniversary dinner last evening, we gave thanks for our lives together and all that is good in our life, including with our prayers of thanks our concern for the survivors in Haiti. The devastation there is overwhelming and it is difficult to stand by helpless. This verse by Saadi Shirazi highlighted for me what I believe many of us are experiencing. Thank God we are human beings, and that restlessness tugs at the soul as we are bombarded with the images of sadness and desolation. I urge those who read my blog to do one small thing to aid the Haitian people - give money, pray, support any local effort and remember how blest you are.

Our world is small and this is a reminder that we are all interconnected whether we recognize it or not. May we enlarge our hearts and minds as we learn what it is to be fully human.

Welcome 2010

It is hard to believe that this is January 1, 2010. I had so many plans about how to finish out the old year, be prepared for the New Year, and be ready to start bright and early on 1-1-2010! It of course makes no difference the past year was a good and full one and I give thanks for all the blessings that made it so. I look forward to the unfolding of the year ahead and will take it as it comes.

I do have some hopes for this year - most important for me is to improve my ability to live "mindfully", if I do that,  then I feel all else will go as it should. Shalom.